Key steps for child arrangements if you’re getting divorced

October 22nd 2018

Couples face several new challenges when getting divorced but one of the most important is deciding what will happen to the children.

Will they live with mum or dad…or both at different times? How much contact should each parent have? How much will each parent pay towards their children’s upkeep?

These can be complicated issues but it’s crucial that couples make the right decisions if they’re to avoid conflict further down the line. This means that, whatever the stresses, strains and emotional trauma of the break-up, couples must put the children first if they’re to reach an agreement that is fair to everyone.

Voluntary Agreements

Court proceedings can usually be avoided if you can agree voluntarily on where the children will live, how their time will be divided between you and settle child maintenance issues.

If you can achieve this then it may not be necessary to take any further action. A voluntary agreement has the benefit of flexibility and can be changed as the children grow. If you do, however, wish for a voluntary agreement to be made into a legally binding agreement, the next step is to ask your solicitor to draw up a consent order.

This order will contain the details of your arrangements and will need to be formally approved by the court. The court will usually accept the agreement as long as the judge is satisfied that your arrangements are in your children’s best interests.

If the court does not agree, it may change your consent order or make a different order if it feels that is necessary for your children’s welfare.

Mediation

If you cannot agree voluntarily, you may attend Mediation. A Mediator’s role is to help you reach an agreement together without taking sides. Some couples find this helps them to break through deadlocks and move on. Any agreement reached through Mediation will also have to be approved by the court if it is to become a legally binding agreement.

If you do not think that Mediation is for you, the final option is to begin court proceedings. However, before you do so, you have to show that you have at least attended a meeting about Mediation first. This would not apply in all circumstances, for example, if you had previously been subjected to domestic abuse.

Child Arrangements Orders

If you can’t reach a voluntary agreement, or if you don’t want to proceed with Mediation, you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. This can cover all the arrangements for your children or just those that you have not been able to agree voluntarily.

They usually deal with issues such as where your children should live, how much time they spend with each parent and what kind of contact should be allowed, such as letters or phone calls.

Before making an order, the court will consider several issues to protect the best interests of the children. For example, it will consider their views and feelings, their emotional needs and the ability of the parents to meet those needs.

It will also consider the effects the divorce may have on the children. It will want to minimise any disruption caused by the changing circumstances. This could raise several issues, such as if one parent wanted to move to a new area and take the children away from a school where they felt happy and secure.

Specific Issue Orders

There may be concerns between you that fall outside the scope of the general arrangements you’ve agreed. This might include which school the children should attend, whether they should have a religious education or whether they should change their surname.

These matters can be dealt with by applying for a Specific Issue Order.

Prohibited Steps Orders

These are used less often but can be helpful to prevent the other parent making a decision about your child’s upbringing without your approval, such as taking them to live abroad.

Parental Responsibility

Only people with parental responsibility, usually but not always just the mother and father, can apply for these court orders. Grandparents, and other people in certain circumstances, can also apply but would need to get court permission first.

Divorce is a stressful time even if everything runs smoothly. Parents should remember that the interests of their children come first and should avoid trying to use them as a way of punishing the other partner.

It is always better to reach a voluntary agreement than to have one imposed by the court, which can sometimes make decisions that neither parent likes.

Remember, that the courts will always try to take a pragmatic view and do what .

If you need any advice or would like to discuss any of the issues raised in this article please call now and speak to Laura in our Family Team on 01228 516666 or alternatively click here to email Laura direct.